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Question from Scott

March 27, 2012

Scott wrote:

Doc – how do I know if I’m just a little rundown or have cancer? Also – what’s the best and worst kinds of cancer? Also, are there any diseases that you know of that are helpful? Anything that has cool side effects?

Dear Scott,

The best way to know if you are a little rundown or have cancer is to rub lemon juice all over your body. If your body gets a rash, it’s cancer. Cancer hates lemons.

Best kind of cancer is no cancer. Worst kind is the kind that kills you (any).

One disease that is helpful is called Distopianollioso. It is the disease that let’s you fully realize that you’ll never live in a utopia. The disease just helps you be more realistic with your crappy life. 🙂 or should I say 😦

The disease with the coolest side effect – Laser Eyes. It’s not what you think. Laser eyes is when your eyes melt from having a laser pointer pointed at it  for too long (doesn’t sound like a disease, but it is.) The side effect is you can fly (possible trade-off?)

Hope that answers your questions Scott. If you or anyone you know needs some quick medical advice from a real doctor, just ask Dr. Acker. (once again not a real doctor and my advice should not be taken).

-Dr. Acker

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